Okay...so now you know...I am an expert...I know how to break the rules.
But I am not alone. We have all broken the rules at some point in our lives.
Was there ever a time when you wanted to succeed at something so badly that you considered breaking the rules? (Tell the truth now!) And let me say at the outset that I don’t mean cheating or being unethical.
So how many people pulled you aside to warn you “you can’t do that!” you can't break the rules!"?
Well, I’m in your corner. And I have help from Peter Bregman who once wrote an article called “Play the Game You Know You Can Win”.
In that article, he discussed the strategy in which instead of playing the game (of anything) by the established rules, you either rewrite the rules ( in other word - break the rules) or apply your unique strengths and talents to the game in creative and different ways.
From as far as I can remember I didn’t follow the “rules” for many things. They often just didn’t make sense to me and playing by those rules were for the frightened toe-the-liners.
At times it was stressful because in my earlier working days, everyone thought I was just being rebellious. Or, “expressing unresolved issues” according to the readily available pop psychologists sitting behind every chipboard desk.
How could they know that breaking the rules would be the single most important thing I would do for my personal and professional growth? And for my businesses and my clients?
Yet I didn’t set out to consciously break the rules. It was not like I assigned a time in my schedule to review a list of rules and go “aha! Let me break 4, 7 and 16.”
To the contrary, I tried NOT to break the rules. It’s just that my intelligent mind and common sense attitude got in my way.
By now you’re asking yourself: Why would I want to break the rules? Wasn’t I told all my life to follow the rules?
Here are some really great reasons why you should consider breaking the rules.
Breaking the rules establishes you as a thought leader. Since I’m always seeking to influence people, processes, procedures and anything else that moves me and my clients forward, I love when people label me a “thought leader”.
You also get to live life on your own terms. Many of the rules we live by were designed for somebody else in another time. So I am delighted when I get the opportunity, to declare “where is it written that I have to do that by the “book”? And once I do, creativity steps in!
You become a catalyst for change. Woooo...doesn’t it just thrill you to know that by using what you already have – your brains and your self-confidence – you can start a change reaction?
But the big question everybody always asks is something like this: “So if there is value in not always following the rules, is there a “right” way to break them?
I won’t tell you that there’s a right way to break the rules. But I can tell you that over time, I have developed a set of rules for breaking the rules...and I know they can work for you too.
So let me dive right in and discuss them with you.
Know the rules before you break the rules
Let me repeat: Know the rules before you go breaking the rules.
Knowing the rules is an absolute must. You may want to call this a no-brainer and I would agree with you. Only someone with no brain would attempt to do anything, especially business, without knowing the rules.
Yet I see this all the time – directors who have not read the company’s articles of association even after being on the board for three years and yet they are experts on it.
Or business people who know nothing or little about the business of being in business, yet they are trying to break rules to reach high levels of success fast.
By taking the time to learn the rules, I have discovered something interesting and even amusing.
Some rules have been so badly written that all you have to do is to follow them and they will lead you to the outcomes you want. And I assure you, they will be different from the ones that those rules intended.
That’s a really cool way to win the game you’re playing... on your terms. Speaking of which...
Understand the Game You’re Playing
In business, research is a key factor in playing the game that you know you can win. And I don’t mean the generic type of market research you learn in business school.
I mean knowing who the real influencers are in a business and understanding and being able to predict human behavior.
I’m honest and straightforward by default and a day does not pass without someone saying to me “how could you say that? You don’t say such things, girl!”
In each case, I’m saying what I think or feel but I have also learnt that in the game of bullshit, a good dose of horse sense is a rare treasure which people will pay top dollar for.
So what’s your game? Have you discovered your exceptional skills and talents?
Have you also discovered that large group of people called a niche that WANT your skills and talents? Or are you still playing the game of convincing everyone within a 20-mile radius that they NEED your skills and talent?
Self-confidence is one of the requirements...
And I daresay self-esteem as well. You have to trust your unique interpretations of situations and circumstances and be willing to act on them.
You should be comfortable with the action you’re taking and be prepared to stand up for what you believe or what you recognize to be right.
I can’t tell you how many times I have ignored the “rules” not because I wanted to be rebellious but because they either didn’t make sense to me or didn’t suit my purposes.
I remember when I started writing online, the rule was to keep your articles to 700 hundred words or less since the attention span of readers were very limited.
What bovine feces! Was my response to that!
So even back then I confidently wrote longish articles because I found that the attention span of readers expanded to match how well the article was written.
If this means you are breaking the rules, well...so be it...
Know the risks and prepare for the consequences
Breaking the rules is not without its own risks. And consequences. Here is an example from my own life.
Currently, in my line of work, it is now "the rule", in your writing and speaking online, to demonstrate that you’re human, to be yourself, to be “unplugged”.
The problem with this is that it usually means a liberal use of the big F-word.
Now I am not a prude. After all, I come from a region where people are passionate about politics, cricket and calypso. Most discussions on these topics are drenched in rum and laced with what we call “muscular language”
But this forum is just not the place for this. As a matter of fact, videos with life-changing tips or business advice that require me to make sure my grandchildren are not in the room when I view them, leave me shaking my head.
I know I run the risk of you not connecting with me and buying from me but hey, I am comfortable with that. But I’m not following that rule!
5. You must know yourself
One of the biggest rules of success is to know your own strengths and weaknesses, or where you have muscle and where you have fat as I like to say.
When you want to break the rules, the same rule obtains.
You don’t go breaking rules just because it’s a good idea or you heard that’s the way to stand out. Neither do you follow them because you think it will win you friends.
Just be yourself and choose from a position of strength.
If you’re not playing the game that you can win, it’s not too late to call a timeout and rethink your game plan. After all, winning is not for losers.
Watching you win as you break the rules...