Learn how to explode your confidence!
I recently conducted a survey hoping to find out what my clients and trainees find most valuable when they work with me.
Of course I knew the answers - after all I have non-stop knowledge, incredible experience and I am forever developing new skills. And we have not even touch my fabulous content! So I was only looking for validation.
What!! I could NOT be more wrong!
90% "loved the ease and speed with which I connect with everyone". 80% was fascinated by my "boundless energy". 87% thought my sense of humor was "unforgettable" but my confidence and command of the situation came in at #1 with a whopping 98 %!
Did they mention my content and skill at all? Of course. But it was not #1 on anybody's ranking.
I had to ask myself: When did this happen? When did I explode my confidence to such a point that high self-confidence is now a part of who I am and what I do? And can you too explode your confidence so that you reach a place where it is second nature to you?
I say yes! I did it and so can you.
What is confidence?
But before I help you to explode your confidence, let's define and discuss it.
First, confidence or self-confidence is NOT the ability to step on the heads of others to get what you want. Or as my grandmother used to say, you don’t have to put out somebody’s candle to make yours burn brighter.
It is NOT feeling and then behaving like you’re better than others.
Self-confidence IS having a feeling of certainty about who you are and what you have to offer the world.
When you have confidence in yourself, you attract people to you for any number of reasons – to learn from you, to have fun with you, to work with you and to invest in your business.
You are willing to take risks knowing you may reap great rewards or experience some losses.
Failure is not a traumatic event in your life but rather a great learning point.
Self-confidence, especially when you have taken action to explode your confidence, helps you to withstand criticism and negative feedback.
No doubt about it, self-confidence is attractive and powerful.
When it comes to business, self-confidence is the building block of your success. It is what will sustain and grow you and your business over the long-term. It's what keeps you believing in yourself each and every time.
Don't believe me? Look at Sam's story.
Secretly, the young man’s mother thought his jump off into business was catastrophic.
He had convinced her to invest in his business venture and she had borrowed the money to help out. But as far as she could see, 3 months had passed and he did not have a single contract.
She kept quiet but she was beginning to be worried…
Secretly, the young man thought his advent into business was wonderful and it took his breath away!
He didn’t yet have a contract but he was busy putting himself in the places where you will find the big boys of construction almost daily.
What his mother had forgotten was that she had raised him to have supreme confidence in himself.
Relying exclusively on his confidence, in complete defiance of convention, he negotiated a contract with one of the captains of the industry who merely wanted to give the “little boy” a job.
Today, 16 years on, he has continued in business, growing in confidence, negotiating with his bankers for funding, going after and winning contracts he’s repeatedly being told are out of his league.
If you ask him: what’s the foundation he’s built his business on? He will answer without hesitation:
Believing in myself!
Best of all self-confidence is a skill and like all skills, it can be acquired and with practice, you too can first build your confidence and then you CAN explode your confidence!
By now you're wondering...if self-confidence is this wonderful and desirable thing, why don’t many more people have it and why aren’t more people rushing to get it?
You see, many people live their lives gripped by fear of some kind and for one reason or the other.
This fear is usually driven by your inner limiting beliefs about your self-worth and this is the biggest common obstacle that will stop your every effort to explode your confidence.
I know first hand.
Recently, I can’t explain how, but my normal confident self, (the one that everyone in the survey admired) was replaced by a small, frightened girl, who did not want to make a phone call that could change her fortunes! Can you believe that?
So the big question is: What can you do, right now, to really explode your confidence?
Here are 3 easy, useful ways to explode your confidence:
- Accept how capable and unique you are
We tend to focus on our limitations, our failures and all our other short-comings.
Unfortunately, we have been conditioned to behave this way from childhood by incorrect values, concepts and beliefs, very often by well-meaning parents.
Don’t accept this as true for you.
Turn this on its head by constantly reminding yourself of your true worth as a person and that you have your own unique importance.
- Work through your fears
As I mentioned before, fear is the biggest killer of your self-confidence.
When you feel frightened about anything, confront that fear. Do the very thing that is making you afraid. Yeah...I made that phone call after many mental excuses and boy...is my bank account glad I did!
Walk through that fear. It does not matter how well you do it. What matters is that you are taking action to reduce and eventually remove your fears.
That’s one of the powerful ways you can build your self-confidence.
Building your personal power also helps to overcome fear. Get help with this here.
- Develop your gratitude muscle
I know you are a grateful person by default. But consciously doing a gratitude activity boosts your self-confidence tremendously. So I want you to try mine.
Every night before you go to bed, list 10 things you are grateful for. They can come from your activities during the day or from any area of your life.
For example, I may write that “I am grateful that I am living a deeply, spiritual life” or “I am grateful for all the fun I had today” or “I am grateful for the love of my darling dog”.
This exercise reminds you that you have so much to be grateful for and this really reduces your fears and boosts your confidence. Give it a try…will you?
If you remember nothing else…
Remember that your self-confidence is a critical building block of your success.
You will find that by taking the time to explode your confidence, life will begin to change for the better in almost every way possible.
High self-confidence determines which contracts you go after and which of those you win. It determines whom you attract, how you interact with them and what outcomes you get.
So if you want to make a BIG impact, make sure you’re always looking for ways to explode your confidence!
To your exploded confidence...